“Love, so many people use your name in vain.
Those who have faith in you sometimes go astray.
Through all the ups and downs, the joys and hurts,
for better or worse, I still will choose you first”
--- Musiq Soulchild
Hello my dearest “Love”,
Like Mr. Bill Withers would say: “Hello like before I guess it's different 'cause we know each other now. I guess I've always known we'd meet again somehow, so it might as well be now...”
Hello “Love”, I don't claim to be an "A" student, but I'm your devoted pupil from the University of the school of hard knocks. As I traveled along my journey's life road, I acquired extensive knowledge of the meaning of true love from other people's relationship stories, in countless books, romantic motion pictures or even from my own proud relationship life’s story.
During my Ph. D. studies at the University, with divine patience to observe, feel, taste, hear and at time to smell, I had the pleasure to retain the most crucial information given to me on the first day of class: “Real love is a journey, not a destination.” As we too often limit the act of love to a heart’s feeling or sexual need, real love amalgamate the element of hard work, truth, determination, touch, commitment, communication, passion, trust, and piece of the mind. After one week, three months, one year, five years, etc. you can’t truly claim being in the presence of love, if the listed elements from above were awry. The same ideology is applied where love can’t be attain in a set deadline and expect to remain, for example: “It has been three months now she must be in love with me” “I guess that I'm her boyfriend, since it has been ten days of courtship and no arguments” “Why won’t he commit, I’ve been loving him now for fifty-three weeks?”. Aretha Franklin best described love in a journey that appears and disappears with no time frame due to its see saw motion, she sings: “Your love is like a see saw, baby, going up and down, all around”. As for me, I agree to add that true love doesn’t exist in a time allotment, a signed marriage certificate, a self imposed relationship title or in a diamond ring. It dwells in the sparkling moment observed by the faithful eye, secured actions, a beautiful mind and a unselfish heart to be shared over time.
Tell me, have you seen her? Have you found the love within? Because it is similar to building a home. First prerequisite for constructing a domicile, you must beforehand design a blueprint. Whereas in love, the first three vital requirement is knowing, accepting, and loving oneself. If you can’t love yourself, first, your architectural plan for “Real love” in a productive relationship stands on quick sand, bound for failure with each passing day. Too often men and women take flight from one relationship to another in search of themselves. They take odyssey from a lover to lovers in search for someone's interest to make them feel wanted and alive. They cultivate an appetite to feel normal like anyone of their closes friends, that “Why not me, too?” syndrome fuels their insecurity as they long for the same magical moment shared between betrothed. Such men or women explore their self worth through the gaze of someone else’s smile, they fear loneliness and revert to God, lies, alcoholism or materialism for courage to not run and hide from their childhood weaknesses. Heavy make-up to cover their real inner pain, dress provocatively just to be notice in a crowed place. Too often, they will tirelessly trust their body as bait ahead of their shining personally, prone to indulge in promiscuous unprotected sexual relationships just to feel cared for. They would effortlessly say: I love “YOU” when deep down a few of them really mean: “Love ME, please!
Tell me, how deep is your love? Do you recognize the reflection in the mirror? Dry does loneliness fears and tears, have you lately stopped to love yourself within? Start today, be strong, don't you ever fall to the wrong side of the tracks. Hugs and a smile!
--- To be continued.
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